Tuesday, April 29, 2014

The only right thing to say to people who come to see your show





Last evening I attended, as an invited guest, the dress rehearsal of one of my private voice students in her high school musical. She did an extraordinary job and the rest of what I saw, was what you would generally expect to see at a dress rehearsal, not a final dress, with a collection of enthusiastic teens of various abilities working together to make a show happen. It was a truly enjoyable evening.

Before the run-through, I met and shook hands with the director who commented rather nervously about her appearance and mine, letting me know, in a not too subtle way, that I was overdressed. I didn't think too much about it.  I dress for what I am doing and where I am going the whole day. I am aware that I can have a bit of a 'diva' presence. I am what I am and I didn't think much of it.

After the show, I congratulated my student, and the other kiddies in proximity for a job well done. I then approached the director to thank her for permitting my student to invite me to attend and to convey a couple nice comments about the rehearsal going well and also  about the enthusiam it noticed in the young performers. Instead of simply thanking me for coming, the director seemed embarrassed and talked about how far the show needed to go. When I assured her that I knew all about dress rehearsals and how shows always come together and that everyone was doing a good job,  she responded with  "We'll  you know better but you HAVE to say stuff like that to me that don't you? You are a GUEST".  I was very shocked. The woman had basically called me a liar! I  responded  directly with "I sincerely meant what I said to you", which I did!

A long time ago, one of my very first voice teachers told me and my fellow students that after a performance, when someone congratulates you or compliments you, there is ONLY one proper response "thank you".  Say "thank you" when you think you have done a good job. Say "thank you" when you think you have not done a good job. Say "thank you" when you think the person doesn't know any better. Say "thank you" when you think the person does know better. If you argue "no,  the performance really wasn't good" you are either calling the person insincere or ignorant.  Neither is a gracious response to someone who has attended your performace.

When my student's high school director said "You have to say that" she wasn't right.  I could have chosen to not come up to her.  I could have (BUT NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS WOULD HAVE) chosen to give constuctive criticism, or any number of inapropriate responses.  What I did was give her thanks for the invitation and a few positive and honest comments,  and I left feeling angry because my sincerilty was called into question.

I understand that in the moment, the director was dealing with her own issues, insecurities, perhaps her own difficulty with having a dress rehearsal observed by a professional. Maybe she should not have permitted  or encouraged my student to have guests attend a rehearsal.  Maybe she was unconfortable or intimidated by my presence.  It does not matter.

"Thank you.  "Thank you for coming" "Thank you for your kind words" "I am glad you enjoyed it and thank you for coming".  "Nice to meet you, thank you".  "Good to see you, thank you".

"Thank you". It is he only right thing to say to people who come to see your show.


Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Sing For The Love Of It, Because Singing to Win Makes You Lose.

What a joy it was to see Carolina Kostner skate an entirely clean program at this past Winter Olympics after falling over and over during her performance at the last one. 
The difference? She was skating for the joy of it, not under the pressure to win.

Sports psychology and performance psychology for singers is identical. When you sing for the love of the music and for the desire to communicate you will sing your best. If you focus on "winning, by which I mean impressing people such as your colleagues, the judges, the audience, the casting director, your family,  your teacher etc, before you sing as wellas during the act of singing, you will never sing your best.

By focusing on the love of singing , you will be increase your chance of “winning”.The ability to do your best is the gift you get for taking your mental focus off of yourself.

Singers and musical performers have a lot to learn from Carolina Kostner's triumph at this past Olympics, as well as the performances of the other skaters. Kim Yuna, the superstar reigning queen and gold metal winner at the last olympics was the favorite and was in the position of defending her title. She was in a position that she had little to gain but a lot to loose in terms of her legacy. She skated a safe program,lovely,but entirely lacking in excitement to maintain her position.

Along came Adelina Sotnikova a teenager who had recently been left off the Russian team and had to fight her way back. She had everything to win and she delivered a thrilling performance that won her the gold.  This "underdog advantage" is what every up and coming singer has on their side, but sadly many times big ambition robs aspiring singers of this psychological advantage.

There is a story about how a then superstar Judy Garland,  and a young and upcoming Barbra Streisand were speaking back stage before a live TV show when Garland confessed she had terrible stage fright.  The expectations on her as the greatest singing star of the day, were not just to sing well, but to be great and this was crippling her. Streisand an unknown had no expectations on her, and could only gain from the broadcast performance. Streisand confessed to Garland that she never felt performance anxiety. Garland, recognizing Streisand's great talent and the probability of her becoming a great star told her "some day you will". Sadly,  it did come to pass that after Streisand became one of the most celebrated and respected singers of her generation, she developed crippling stage fright and could not perform live for many,many years. Finally,interestingly long after her prime, when she was, in reality, no longer the singer she once was, Streisand's desire to perform overcame her anxiety and she was once again able to perform before the public.

My grad school roommate was an elite level concert pianist who had crippling performance anxiety and required beta-blocker medication in order to perform in competitions concerts, degree recitals and even for her teacher and other students in her studio class. She placed and even won in competitions but she never performed at the level she could in the practice room. Never the less, she beat out literally thousands of other young pianists when her artistry gained  her an offer from a top level agent who wanted to take her on his roster.  But my roommate,who happened to be an orthodox Jew, had to make the decision to not accept this position, that she had worked all her life to achieve, because it would have required her to perform on the sabbath. Although she would keep performing and working professionally as a pianist, the decision to tern down the top agent meant she would never make it big as a pianist. After she turned down this offer and nothing was "riding" on her performances, she suddenly lost all of her performance anxiety. She no longer needed medication to calm her nerves when she performed.  She felt her new ability to play was a gift from g-d because she chose to keep the sabbath. I see, though,  that when she had nothing to loose or gain from making a mistake, she could not be distracted from the music by her ambition, but she could have chosen to perform just for the love of it all along.

How do you, as a singer, put your head into the best place possible in order to perform?  First, prepare to the best of your ability, because not being prepared is a source of very rational of performance anxiety. Then, whether you are a great star or want to be one sing ONLY for the love of singing and the desire to share the music, and you will free yourself from irrational performance anxiety.

Click the link below to watch a video about Carolina's journeyhttp://screen.yahoo.com/carolina-kostner-love-rao-141623602.html


Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Happy New Year!

May all my students, and students of the great art of singing, along with those who aspire to a life of the stage, enjoy the journey. Enjoy every bit of it because there is never an arrival point or destination, only the start of a different journey. When you do arrive at the start of a new journey, open your eyes and recognize where you are! You are the captain of your ship, your wind fuels your sails if you are a sailboat and if you are a motor boat, you provide the fuel.  You are at the helm and you navigate your own journeys. A singing teacher can only teach you how to catch the wind in your sails or advise what kind of fuel will keep you going on your journey.
May your travels this year bring you joy!